After Care

We’re reading the script I’ve written when someone 30 years my junior asks me what a character means when he says, “I got my hearing checked and it’s good. I have an After Care Report and everything.”

I’m confused. There’s no joke written into this line.

He got a report after he visited the doctor that’s titled “After Care Report.” Every time you visit the doctor you get sent one.

I have half a mind to show them emails I get whenever someone in the family has any medical consultation.

“AFTER CARE REPORT” the email subject line says.

I almost scoff at the question, but instead I ask: After Care Report from your doctor — you know, summarizing what happened.

My inquisitive actor snorts. Oh, she says, that’s not what that means to people my age, For us it means care after sex.

Now, I snort: What?

You know, after sex, how do you care for your partner.

I’m thinking, I try not to fall asleep, so I get up and cut some fruit and bring water over to the bed so we can talk. (In the old old days, it was a shared cigarette and her head on my chest.)

But I say: Oh, that isn’t what I mean at all here. Let’s cut that line.